About me

Curiosity killed the cat

Joaquín Bernal

I’m Joaquín Bernal, an spaniard programmer and fiction writer born in the fine year of 1973. I enjoy writing, both words in fiction and magical incantations in computer code. I started programming on a ZX Spectrum, which gave me the first taste of what coding is and I’ve been hooked since then, with no hope of recovering whatsoever. I’m convinced coding has shaped profoundly my way of thinking but I’m still deciding if I’m a functional thinker or an imperative one. I usually think in imperative terms but from moon to moon I feel declarative and put on my best Prolog brain. Yes, Virginia: Sometimes just “no” is a perfectly fine answer.

I’m looking for a job to be back in the programming industry. I’m fairly experienced but also a quick learner. You won’t believe how fast I learn. I can pick up any language and be functional with it in very short time. If you need a developer, browse around or read my résumé. If you think I’m a good fit contact me and say hello: I’m sure we’ll get along.

I love learning. About Tetris effect, lucid dreams, language development, nougat origins, scientific and philosophical meanings of time, proper aperture for taking pics of a full moon, possible reality definitions, dialog writing, mixolydian scale, custard recipes, how to multiply by eleven in your head, or Pixar’s animation techniques.

I like mechanical pencils, lemon peel, raspy voices, how concrete smells under the sun, absurd jokes. I don’t like shouts, stepping on crumbs with bare feet, sun glasses, elevator talk. I like Monty Python, peeling oranges in one long strip, taking tidy handwritten notes, cold water, english language, Les Luthiers. I don’t like seafood, limp faces, the feel of sandpaper in my cornea, martyrs, the sound of a toilet flushing at the end of a corridor, political correctness. I already like you.

Contact

If you enjoy what you read around here, contact me and tell me so. My ego loves pats on the back, like everyone’s. If you don’t enjoy what you read, contact me anyway and tell me so. Sometimes I think my ego is a little bit spoiled. If you don’t want to read all this because you already know you won’t like it, the cause is a trauma you have since that incident with your mother and that dish of brussels sprouts. Look for professional help. Everything heals with time and loving care.

Phone: +34 646 074 233
Email: jobedom@gmail.com

If you still want to contact me and nothing worked, wrap your head in aluminum foil and stand in front of a mirror. Concentrate very hard and repeat my name and the desired message forty two times. Sometimes I get those messages. Sometimes I don’t. Don’t worry: If I don’t get it I will contact you to be your guide through that delivery procedure.

License

All content except fiction texts are under a Creative Commons license, so be nice and show proper attribution if you use some of it. I retain copyright for the fiction texts, so please contact me if you’re planning to do something with them.

Colophon

This site is assembled using nanoc and hosted in GitHub Pages.